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s a transgender woman, I have spent a lot of time thinking about something that most women take for granted: What does it mean to be a woman? Cisgender women can present as femme, butch, girly, tomboyish, goth, hipster, tattooed... Transgender women are often held up to a higher standard of womanhood than cisgender (people who are not transgender) women are.Rumors of Drake and Bella hooking up have swirled for months now.And not even Despite having moved on, The Weeknd is not too happy with Drake's choice and it's been causing tension between their friends in Toronto.Transitioning is something that we do for ourselves, but passing is what we do for the rest of society.Cisgender people do not realize the struggles and pains associated with living life as a non-passing transgender woman.No matter how monotonous and uninspiring the relationship, it will still feel impossible to replace. It’s the way we handle them — us and our partners alike.You will still miss them long after you’re gone, regardless of the circumstances of your departure. And the predictability and routine and sameness that comes with comfort is completely normal — and okay. What’s not okay is being toxic, or manipulative, or resentful or hateful or contemptuous or deliberately cruel. And these things don’t mean you have to — we’re all a little mean, from time to time — but it does mean we should work to show our partners more grace and kindness and compassion. And the reason to leave is not if we see things you don’t like, but if we share our feelings around these things and If our partner puts on a good show and then goes right back to their old ways in the moment that matters most — for me, when they’re mad — then that’s something to look at. It’s worth fighting for if they’re fighting for it, too.
But somehow out of this pre-historic age sprung a fountain of cultural wealth.
I am very fortunate in the fact that I pass very well.
Even in instances when people do notice that I am transgender, I'm often still granted cisgender woman privilege.
And while lots of women do not have them, they are still accepted as women. These days, many people have accepted the idea of transgender women as women, but I've also noticed that only certain transgender women really get accepted as women.
None of these characteristics are really a requirement.